"I write laboriously worked-out dialogue...because I know what I want my characters to say. I envision the scene; I can imagine them up there on the screen; I try to imagine what they would say and how they would say it, and keep it in character...Then I rewrite it. Then I cut it. Then I refine it until I get the scene as precisely as I can get it."
Flat, mundane, and emotionally-false dialogue are death on the page, death to the project. But how does one get to the crisp, witty, plot-propelling and character-revealing lines that drive a real barn-burner of a script or novel? Rewriting, cutting, and refinement are crucial, but I believe the real key is in what Chayefsky says about envisioning the characters in the scene and imagining the conversation from them.
One helpful technique for improving dialogue that Karl Iglesias shares is the read-through or staged reading used by screenwriters and playwrights (a role I tried my hand at before my novels were published). To use this collaborative technique, a novelist might assign readers (critique partners spring to mind) each a role and read through a scene's dialogue. When the reader stumbles or something sounds clunky, that's where your red pencil comes in. If you have really good readers (experienced stage actors are wonderful at this, but anyone willing to engage his/her imagination will do) they may tell you, "My character wouldn't say this. I think she'd say _______________ instead."
Listen to the feedback you get. Embrace the spirit of collaboration. What do you have to lose, other than a few clunkers?
If you can't find a willing group of readers, you'll have to cast yourself instead. Let the scene play out in your mind. See and hear it "on the screen." Lock the writer in the back room and play the role of actor, director, and the audience instead.
Then take out your paring knife and sharpen every line.
