3 Questions With… Diane Holmes of Pitch University (Part Two)

Yesterday's post introduced Diane Holmes, founder of Pitch University, a free website devoted to helping writers sharpen their verbal pitches. Today, she returns to elaborate on improving the content of your face-to-face presentation.

BtO: I well remember my very first pitch session, with an editor at Harlequin. Desperately nervous and, well, just plain desperate, I blundered through pitching a type of book Harlequin didn’t even publish and came perilously close to puking on the editor’s shoes in the process.

Ironically, years later, this was the same editor who bought and published my first novel (when she was working for another house and I was writing in another genre). Probably only because she failed to associate my name with that pea-green nitwit she met outside of Houston. ;)

But I digress. Third question: Aside from the problems caused by nervousness, what particular problems do you see with the actual content of writers’ pitches?

DH: Oh, you have my sympathy! And I love that this experience didn’t stop you. Be resilient. That should be our motto! Okay, let’s talk content. Here’s my list of Top 3 Content Derailments:
1) They’re confusing.

This often occurs because you’re speaking the “pitch paragraphs” that you used in your query letter. We just don’t listen the way we read. Imagine trying to make sense of a verbal pitch that opens with, “When thrown from a horse while fleeing for her life…” only to find out later that the rider is a present-day 16-year-old girl who has time-traveled to 1916, and she running for her life because of a battle in WW1.

2) They’re misleading.

When I’m helping writers with their pitches, I listen to the pitch, then ask them fill me in on book. Often the pitch is totally misleading. The author has narrowed the story down to a few elements not realizing those elements imply a whole world in the listener’s mind.

For example, if you mention that the protagonist finds a body, I’ll assume we’re now talking about a mystery. Dead body = Mystery. Mention a famous person, and I’ll assume your characters spend the entire book interacting with this person. Talk about a child who has polio, and I’ll think this is a book about the child’s experience with polio, and not just a colorful complication.

When you choose which elements to highlight in your pitch, remember that the listener gives a great deal of weight to those elements and believes that “this” is what will fill up your pages and form the structure of your story.

3) They’re all over the place.

My dear friend Laura Gompertz told me the secret to pitching, and I share it now with you (come closer so I can whisper it in your ear): give your very brief pitch, then shut up. ☺

All the things you’ve learned about synopsis writing and query letters don’t directly translate to a pitch. Pitching isn’t a summary of your plot, including character internal conflicts and plot points. It’s more about setting an expectation, implying elements, and giving the shape or experience of reading your book. (It’s not the formula for Listerine, it’s the wonderful experience of using Listerine.)

This may be quite different from what some of you have been taught, so I understand if you’re shaking your head at me! But I’ve seen this work. And I’ve also seen “pitches that explain” fail.

Once you shut up, your pitch appointment turns into a conversation, and you learn if the person you’re talking to has questions (about plot points and internal conflict) or is the right match for your book.

And if you get a yes, stop! All you have to say at that point is say, “Thank you!”

BtO: Thanks for the tips, Diane, and I hope that many of our readers will stop by Pitch University and read the excellent advice you’ve collected from the generous agents and publicists who have shared their wisdom. But before you leave us, we always like to ask our visitors one last question. What have you been reading lately, and what was the last book that knocked your socks off?

DH: Well, Pitch University has taken over my reading as well as my life. I’m currently reading POP!: Create the Perfect Pitch, Title, and Tagline for Anything by Sam Horn, Making the Perfect Pitch: How to Catch a Literary Agent’s Eye by Literary Agent Katharine Sands, and Who Dares Wins: The Green Beret Way to Conquer Fear and Succeed by Bob Mayer. (I remember fiction, and I miss it so….)

As for socks being knocked off…. You’re going to laugh at me, but it was a contest entry I judged. So flipping good I actually wrote a letter of referral to an agent on her behalf.

Colleen, thank you so much for inviting me over to your many-tentacled blog. It’s been an honor.

Hook 'em and Shut Up: Thoughts on Pitching

I'm gearing up to go to RWA's annual national conference in D.C., so I'm reminded of a moment from last year's (in blessedly cool San Francisco, where I'd vote to go every year). One afternoon, I skipped out of the sessions and wandering around to see if I could find any of the hundreds of authors I know to hang around and shoot the breeze with. (What was called hooky in high school is networking here, and it's usually where I get my best intelligence on what's happening in the industry.) As I strolled along a corridor, I saw a lady whose name tag designated her as a first-timer to the conference and a fellow Texan, an unpublished member who was on her own and looking so nervous and miserable, I couldn't help but stop and say hi, then ask her how she was enjoying her first time as nationals.

She wasn't at that moment, she said. On her way to her very first editor appointment, she was tying her intestines into knots trying to recall her memorized spiel. Since she still had some time and I wasn't doing anything productive, I gave her a "We Texans have to stick together" line and asked her to come over to the chairs that lined the corridor and practice her pitch with me.

So she did, vomiting out this confusing mass of information designed to fill every second of her allotted ten minute appointment time. There was no stopping her to ask a question, no interrupting to clarify a point, and as motivated as I was to listen, I had a hard time figuring out what the marketing hooks might be, what kind of book this was (both genre and subgenre), what the length was and whether it was complete.) If I had been an editor, I would've given up, let her run her course, and sent her on her way, none the wiser as to how I might sell her story.

After she finished, I asked her a few questions, then looked for how it best fit this particular editor's interests. (She was pitching to an editor I know from my own publishing house. A lucky break, but a basic awareness of each house's lines and authors is critical. And not at all hard to find out.) So we pulled the marketing hooks that might possibly be relevant to and published by that house and crafted a sort of teaser line or two around them, along with the crucial info.

Here's a brief example (something I just made up) of the sort of thing you might lead with.

"Hi, I'm (give your name - your real name), and I've completed a 90,000 (or what have you) word light paranormal romance (or what have you) about a misunderstood (or name your own adjective) demoness (name your own noun) who wants to go straight and play for the other team (name your own intriguing goal.) Only centuries of prior bad acts and the handsome demon-slayer (another adj-noun combo) who's been pursuing her as long (obstacle) conspire to send her to Hell on Earth -- an eternity as a "performer" for a Chuck E Cheese-like party spot for kids. (Remember, this is a "light" paranormal, so I've set up a possibility with humorous potential.)"

Delivered calmly and in a friendly manner (sometimes after a moment of small talk and a handshake, depending on the pub pro), this spiel should take no more than a minute or two to deliver. Once you've finished stating your case (you might add, say, any publishing/significant contest credentials if you have them or that your book might appeal to, for example, readers of Angie Fox, Kerrelyn Sparks, and Mary Janice Davidson), then it's time to simply sit back and shut your mouth.

Let the agent take the lead from here, asking you questions about your story. Sometimes you'll actually see the spark of excitement ignite as the pro's imagination takes your concept and runs with it. And if what you've pitched is actually something this house publishes, you'll generally get a request to see either the partial or a manuscript.

So what if there's time left? Try asking some questions of your own about the publishing house and/or how the editor works. Or try asking (I ask this all the time of agents and editors) what the person's working on that he/she's particularly excited about right now. It's a wonderful snapshot of what may be up and coming in the market.

If you get into a give and take conversation with the editor or agent, you'll be much less likely to be nervous. Which is a very good thing, since I've never heard of anyone buying a project from an author who's just thrown up on her shoes!

By the way, I received an excited thank you note from the Texas woman I'd helped. She'd gotten a request from the editor, and she was absolutely thrilled about it. So was I, since once we figured out what she was actually selling, it sounded terrific.

Best of luck to those of you pitching at Nationals this year!

More on Pitching by Sharon Mignerey

Yesterday, I introduced my friend and fellow writer, Sharon Mignerey, along with Part One of an article she wrote on pitching your novel project. Today she's back sharing more tips on how to boil down your idea to a delectable, marketable, sound byte.

Feel free to post questions, comments, or your own tips on pitching.

And now, Part Two of "The Pitch . . . Formula or Free-for-all?"

Figure out what your story is about. According to Dwight Swain (Techniques of the Selling Writer) every story, no matter how complex, can be reduced to the following five elements: (1) a character in a (2) situation with an (3) objective he or she hopes to attain, an (4) opponent (villain or situation) who strives against your character, and (5) a possible catastrophe that can result. If you can reduce your story to these five elements using no more than two sentences, you’ll be a star. One common technique is to put the first three elements in a statement and pose the last two as a question. A couple of examples:

When a huge superstore opens around the corner, Kathleen Kelly struggles to keep her small bookstore open and is comforted by an online buddy she knows simply as NY152--a man she grows to love though she’s never met him. After her business is forced to close, can she pick up the pieces of her life, especially after she discovers her nemesis and her trusted online friend are the same man? (YOU’VE GOT MAIL starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks)

Detective Wade Prescott is investigating the first murder in this small town in thirty years, and all the evidence is pointing toward to pretty next-door neighbor who found the body. Which does he trust: the mounting evidence against her or his instinct that says she’s not the killer and that someone is doing an effective job of framing her? (THE GOOD NEIGHBOR by Sharon Mignerey)
Write your two or three sentences on a 3x5 card, and carry it around until you have them memorized and can say what your story is about no matter how distracted you feel. Why? The truth is that you’re going to be nervous, and so if you have this memorized to the point that preparation overrides nerves, the better you will feel. All you need are those five elements boiled down to two sentences. Your character (1) is in a situation (2) and has a goal(3). Remember, this says nothing more than the bare bones about your character. It’s using that dominant impression of a noun and an adjective – the burned out district attorney wants to move to the country, the idealistic rookie sets out to make a name for himself, the nurturing teacher gets too involved with a needy student, and so on. You don’t have to include all the stuff that brings your story alive–this is telling in its leanest form. Do the same thing with the obstacle (4), which can be in the form of a villain or situation. The disaster (5) is that question that ends the back cover copy, which asks: will there be a happily-ever-after.

When Lucy rescues the man of her dreams from an oncoming train, the misunderstandings that follow have his close-knit family thinking she is his fiancé, a situation further complicated when she begins to fall in love with his brother. When the mess is untangled, where will her heart lead her--toward the man of her dreams or the brother who has captured her heart? (WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING starring Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman)

If you can’t figure out how to do this for your own story, pair up with a writing buddy. Do this exercise for her story and have her do it for yours.

Michael Hauge also says that your job is to sell yourself and your passion for your story rather than selling the story. He advises leading with, if it’s relevant, how you came to write this story. For example, I’ve been hearing a lot on the news recently about kids using cell phones to engage in sexting. We also know that laws have never been tougher about putting sex offenders on a national registry. If you had a teen touched by this topic to the point of writing a novel with this as a background, it might be one that you have some passion for, in addition to being timely.

After you’ve pitched your story, a good close is always: Can I answer any questions or would you like me to send you my manuscript? As soon as she says yes, thank her for her time and leave. End on that up note before nerves take over and you put your foot in your mouth.

As part of your preparation for answering those additional questions an editor or agent may have, prepare a query letter that is no longer than two pages (double spaced). Think of the query letter as the quick telling of your story as you’d relate it to friends over lunch. Include those journalistic conventions of who, what, where, and why. Who is the hero? What is his internal conflict and what is his goal? What is the heroine’s internal conflict, and what is her goal? What is the story problem? How do they grow and change? Where is the story set? Why is this story important? As you did with your pitch, know this material inside and out, practically word for word. Then practice answering those imaginary questions until you can be as conversational as you are with your critique partners.

Bear in mind, the above is not your pitch. It’s additional preparation so you don’t stumble over your answers when an editor asks you to tell her more.

Before you go to your appointment, find out as much about the editor or agent as you can. If she has a blog, go read her recent posts. If you have questions, write them down on a separate 3 x 5 card so you don’t forget.

For a meeting at a conference, keep your questions brief and general. You may want to know the royalty rate a publisher pays or how much of a fee an agent charges. These are good questions, but the pitch is not the time to ask them. And, you probably already know this, but it’s worth repeating. Never ask an editor or agent to take your query letter, your proposal, or your manuscript. If they want it, mail it or send it by whatever means they request.

So . . . you’ve made your appointment. You’ve prepared. You’re ready. There’s only one final step – present yourself as the confident, professional author you know yourself to be.

Guest Blogger Bio: Sharon Mignerey can personally attest that she gets just as nervous pitching to editors and agents now as she did as an unpublished author. As the saying goes, feel the fear and do it anyway. Sharon’s most recent book is THE GOOD NEIGHBOR (November 2008) from Love Inspired Suspense. She’s closing in on the end of her Masters program at Seton Hill University and expects to graduate in January 2010.