No tweed bikinis! (10 Best Beach Reads I Actually Read on Beaches)

I don't dispute that all the books on the NPR Beach Reads list are great books. I've read 18 (and loved 16) of the top 20. But I'm not sure we're all clear on the "beach reads" vibe. I agree with Colleen's post yesterday -- the prime directive is fun. "Beach Read" is the essence of reading for pleasure, which doesn't mean it has to be brainless, but it needs to be a page turner with a vacationary feel. The NPR list seems to be geared toward people who wear socks to the beach.

This summer, despite an appalling state of over-employment, I'm trying to stick with the Infinite Summer schedule and make my way through David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest. I was enormously relieved to see Avery Edison's post yesterday, declaring the very truth I was too timid to voice: "I am not enjoying this book." The fact is, I don't think I'm going to make it to page 1000. I do want to read this book, but I think it's a winter thing.

The novel that's really calling to me right now is one of my old favorites. Reading Colleen's WIP recently made me remember how much I loved this book when I was a kid, and it tops my Books I Actually Read (and Mightily Enjoyed) On or Near Beaches and Highly Recommend in No Particular Order List '09.

Pleasure reading at it's coastalest...

#1 Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Thrilla chilla! Love! Reversals of fortune! Spectacular vistas of great writing and gothica. The second Mrs. DeWinter finds her way through a maze of murder and obsession.

#2 My Year of Meats by Ruth L. Ozeki
This book is so dang funny but there's still plenty of thinky thoughts. A fab young reality TV producer discovers offal truths about the meat industry. (Warning: Plan to eat a nice summer salad that day.)

#3 Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery
An orphan's adventure in a simpler time and place. Everybody has that dear old friend they need to connect with once in a while, and Anne is mine. First read it on a beach camping trip in Michigan. (Yes, they have beaches in Michigan.)

#4 Valley of the Dolls by Jaqueline Susann
That's right! I said it! V to the D, bi-otch. Get in the tub and pretend it's the insane asylum. "Neeeeely! Neely O'Hara!" It's trashy, it's flashy, it's the sand-in-your-pantiest beach read of all time. Take two and call me in the morning.

#5 Scruples by Judith Krantz
See above. It's a feast of Funions and Tab in book form.

#6 Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel
The loveliest, most delicious, truest, funniest, heart-rendingest novel I've ever read. Unrequited love and magical realism in old Mexico. Must must must must read. Ah, Destin. Ah, Esquivel. Ah, Gulf of Mexico, how I love you!

#7 Henry and June by Anais Nin
The subtitle is From "A Journal of Love" -The Unexpurgated Diary of Anais Nin (1931-1932). Yeah. Unexpurgated. Eat that, NPR. Nin's gorgeously salacious account of the time she spent with Henry Miller and his wife June. I started it in the bathtub at a hotel in Gibraltar and finished it on the ferry from Spain to Morocco. Couldn't wait to get back to Paris.

#8 Last Night in Montreal by Emily St. John Mandel
Okay, I read most of this in a park overlooking the East River, but I say that counts. Amnesia, love, intrigue, haunting characters, twisty turns, and melodic writing. I read this book months ago and just can't get shed of it.

#9 Lady Sings the Blues by Billie Holiday
As gut-wrenching, street smart, lovelorn and darkly comic as her music. First read this nestled in a sand dune when I was a kid in Pensacola Beach, then revisited when I knew being a memoir guru was what I wanted to do. Best celeb memoir ever. Lady Day's story is beautifully co-authored by William Dufty, a music enthusiast, freelancer for the New York Post, and Gloria Swanson’s last husband.

#10 Gabriela, Clove and Cinnamon by Jorge Amado
Somehow manages to set a wry political parable against a lovely love story. Readable and unforgettable. Loved it 25 years ago on a firetower and rocky beaches in Northern California. The enchanting words and places are woven together in my head forever.

So there you have it. The ten best books I've read on the beach. Would love to hear your list! Dish it, darlings, dish it! And don't forget the sunscreen.

What Makes a Great Beach Read?

It's nearly August and so blazing hot here in Houston that going to the beach would be like reclining on a pancake griddle. But that hasn't stopped me from thinking about Beach Reads, especially after reading NPR's list of The 100 Best Beach Books Ever, tabulated from 136,000 votes by 16,000 fans of National Public Radio. (I love NPR!)

For your enlightenment, here are the top 20:
1. The Harry Potter series, by J.K. Rowling
2. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee
3. The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini
4. Bridget Jones's Diary, by Helen Fielding
5. Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen
6. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, by Rebecca Wells
7. The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald
8. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams
9. Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, by Fannie Flagg
10. The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingsolver


11. The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger
12. Life of Pi, by Yann Martel
13. The Joy Luck Club, by Amy Tan
14. The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien
15. The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger
16. Gone with the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell
17. Bel Canto, by Ann Patchett
18. The Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien
19. Middlesex, by Jeffrey Eugenides
20. Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen

I've read most of these books, and have loved nearly all of them, but I have to admit, I scratched my head at the idea of calling THE KITE RUNNER a beach read. Sorry, but the material's way too dark for that. BRIDGET JONES, yes! THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE, amen! But LIFE OF PI? Seriously?

To me, a perfect beach read has to be, first and foremost, fun. Romantic fun (An oldie but goodie, Julie Garwood's FOR THE ROSES), scary fun (Stephen King's DUMA KEY would be a great choice), or fantastic fun (going with the Harry Potter series here, or THE HOBBIT would do, nicely). Nothing dense or heavy, nothing requiring too much concentration. Just an entertaining, engaging story that keeps me sizzling far beyond my SPF.

And sexy fun's never a bad choice either. :)

What are your qualifications for a beach or vacation read? Care to name any all-time favorites?

Write What You (Don't) Know, Part II

Earlier this week, I wrote about writing what (or who) you know, where I looked at the ways an author's background and circle of associates can influence her characters and setting. Today, I'll be dishing on writing what you don't know on subjects about which you haven't an earthly clue.

At the moment, this is much on my mind because I've bitten off a humongous challenge, taking on a really exciting project that deals with some pretty tricky legal and psychological concepts - concepts about which I have only an interested layman's knowledge and no credentials whatsoever to write about. Unless you count chutzpah, which counts for plenty in this business.

You've gotta have some serious audacity to take whatever expertise you can glean from books, the 'net, and interviews and convince your reader that you know far more than is appearing in the story. I've found that if you lay in enough real facts to gain the reader's trust (the earlier, the better), you can fudge a little (or fictionalize) and bring your merry bands of readers along for the ride.

The trick is doing enough research that you can convincingly BS your way to the reader's Willing Suspension of Disbelief. A skilled novelist is often a bit of a con artist, subbing in borrowed jargon, collected factoids, and, perhaps a more expert acquaintance's opinion in place of a real depth of knowledge.

There are dangers a-plenty in failing to do one's homework. When knowledgeable readers are jerked out of the story, they'll seldom give the author a second shot.

But over-researching is equally dangerous. If you substitute the joy of researching (this is directed to my fellow library nerds) for the joy of writing, the manuscript simply never happens. Worse yet, you might succumb to the temptation to wow the reader with every speck of trivia you've gleaned. Not only does nobody like a show-off, knowledge dumps, usually in the form of narrative, can seriously bog down your story.

How do you maintain a balance between not enough and too much research? Do you prefer sticking with familiar topics, or, like me, do you enjoy writing about what you truly wish to know?

Tempest in the Harrogate Teapot (No vex please, we're British!)

Interesting piece by Stuart Evers in Guardian on the "unpardonably low literary status" of crime writing. Apparently there was a foot-in-mouth moment at the Harrogate Crime Writing Festival last weekend when Booker Prize winner John Banville (aka crime writer Benjamin Black) accidentally dissed his own bad self:

Writing under his own name, Banville manages around 100 sweated-over, teased, honed and polished words a day; but as Benjamin Black, he can manage a couple of thousand. The intimation was quite clear, "Black's" sentences simply weren't as important. Perhaps realising what he'd unwittingly said, he tried to backtrack, but the damage was done and there was more fuel for his critics.

"He's slumming it," author Ruth Dudley Edwards said the following day. "He says he isn't, but he is."

Faster than you can say "tea cozy," Cartier Diamond Dagger recipient Reginald Hill offered this pragmatic response: "When I get up in the morning, I ask my wife whether I should write a Booker prize winning novel, or another bestselling crime book. And we always come down on the side of the crime book."

Click here for the whole story.

The Best of the Worst: 2009's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest Winner

I absolute love the Bulwer-Lytton contest. The contest celebrates Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, the Victorian novelist who gave us -- and Snoopy -- the following deathless prose:

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."

--Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)

In Bulwer-Lytton's honor, modern smart alecks from around the globe come up with the worst, most belabored opening possible. This year's winner, David McKenzie, of Federal Way, Washington brings us:

"Folks say that if you listen real close at the height of the full moon, when the wind is blowin' off Nantucket Sound from the nor' east and the dogs are howlin' for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the "Ellie May," a sturdy whaler Captained by John McTavish; for it was on just such a night when the rum was flowin' and, Davey Jones be damned, big John brought his men on deck for the first of several screaming contests."

Love it! But many of the runners up, in my opinion, are even more hysterical. Check 'em out.

And for even more laughs, check out the past "Lyttony" (their word, not mine!) of grand prize winners here.

I'm thinking we all need to try our hand at this next year. But something tells me that really bad writing might be as tough as doing it well. Maybe even harder. :)

Type faster!

Question: "What would you do if the doctor said you had only six months to live?"

Isaac Asimov's legendary answer: "Type faster!"

What to Ask When You Get the Call

Dorchester editor Leah Hultenschmidt (one of the nicest editors in the business) has an excellent post over at Romantic Reads on what to ask when you get "the call," an offer to publish your novel.

Great advice! Check it out.

Write What (or Who) You Know, Part I

I've never been sold on the old saw, "Write what you know," but I have to admit it has its moments. Faced with difficult and convoluted plotting (which only on the rarest of occasions reflects my own experience, thank goodness) I tend to mix and match aspects of my own personality and/or the personalities of people I've known, to create a new mash-up that takes on a new life of its own.

When I begin a character with the personality of a real person, I find it's a great, shorthand method of getting a handle on my fictional creation. After the book's released, I'm always a little nervous that the real person may recognize herself in the character she's inspired, but so far, that's never happened. For one thing, I'm very careful to change identifying features. For another, the book's plot and other fictional characters substantially alter the "based-on" characters until I'm the only one aware of the connection.

Many of my books are inspired by real-life events "ripped from the headlines" (to borrow a term. At their starting point, I read or hear about some provocative/horrifying/outrageous/frightening situation and wonder "What if that happened to me? How would I react?" Consequently, many of my books' protagonists have the same life concerns (raising a kiddo, worries over aging parents, anxiety over bills or jobs) I've experienced. They also, especially in the case of the heroines, tend to live in settings and have careers with which I'm familiar. I've written a couple of stories featuring teachers (my previous career - and I can tell you, it gives me much joy to poke fun at school boards or gossipy PTO moms from a safe distance), one with a traveling hospice nurse (my sister's job), and another with an asthmatic female firefighter (my husband's a firefighter and I have asthma, so I'd always wondered how awful it would be to be a committed firefighter who finds herself developing that condition).

None of my characters really are me, but they often share my observations, secret sarcastic thoughts, and weird fixations (i.e. Bluebell Homemade Vanilla ice cream and hand-carved Oaxacan animals). The heroes often react in ways in keeping with the macho guys I've known and loved (no affected pretty boys or metrosexuals need apply) and tend toward overtly manly careers rather than desk jobs.

These are the people I understand, the people whose heads I can most easily get inside of. Which is critical, because as I develop the story, I'm about to dump them into serious hot water. (A marketing-oriented friend recently asked me to define my novels' core message. "That's easy," I told her, "It's 'Regular people in deep sh*t.'")

Faced with extraordinary circumstances, I'm always more comfortable with a little familiarity. And I find those particular characters are often my most memorable and compelling.

So what about the rest of you? Do you interweave familiar settings, events from your own life, or character aspects with elements from your own imagination? If so, how do you handle the blending of the real and the imaginary?

Pictured: Woman Standing In Front Of A Mirror 1841
by Christoffer Wilhelm Eckersberg

Don't let the door hit you: The Sequel

Last year on my husband's birthday I opted to go to an industry party in LA and ended up feeling lousy about it. This morning I woke up in NY, but I'll be home by celebratory dinnertime, learning from history instead of repeating it.

My post-party thoughts last year:

As a writer by profession and a hermit by nature, I've come to accept the fact that I am socially retarded. I try to mitigate by not drinking alcohol at parties or lunches. (So much healthier to drink alone late at night with only dogs to witness my pathetique.) I don't try to fake a more Midwestern accent or try to fake anything, in fact. I lack the organizational skills and short term memory to be successfully full of crap. I have to be myself, for better or worse, and then I have to go home, taking comfort in the simple fact that no one cares about me.

Truly, they don't. It's liberating. My presence in that office, restaurant, or professionally lit pool area has nothing to do with amusing anecdotes about my kids and everything to do with the market value of my skill. As long as I don't fall in the pool or set a parking valet on fire, I'll be remembered only by those who asked for my card -- and only a few of those will remember why they asked for it. And only a few of those will feel the need to follow up. (My follow up consists of "thank yous" only. It's important to me to avoid any whiff of hanger on; I let them come to me.) One lesson I'm still learning: when to go and when to stay home.

I've learned a lot this year, but the balancing act continues. Bottom line, as clients, agents, editors, taxis, airplanes, and books have come and gone over the years, my family has remained rock steady and they'll always be my top priority. Sometimes that means going, sometimes that means coming home.

And now, here's Topo Gigio...

Welcome to the World, Baby Girl!

My lovely niece Lorna had a baby in Italy yesterday. Mom and daughter gorgeous and healthy. Welcome to the world, Liliana.

My Take on the Trends: Romance Subgenres

About the time I was just cranking up as a new author (1999-2001 or so), there were a couple of confounding realities taking root in romance novel publishing.

1. American-set historical romances were on the decline. Shrinking demand begat shrinking print runs begat the "death spiral" for a lot of authors, who either had to adapt or die (in the career sense, anyhow.) Most of the readers were senior citizens, who were increasingly turning to used book stores to get their monthly fix, and *all* historicals were routinely predicted to be trending toward extinction.
2. You could hardly give away a paranormal. Authors either shifted to other subgenres, put up with tiny print runs (Dorchester Publishing basically kept this niche alive) and a small but devoted pool of fans. Some die-hards even went to the newly-emerging world of e-publishing. A few of the most talented/popular/lucky went on to great success later, but at the time, they got little respect.
3. You *really* couldn't give away a young adult romance.
4. Historicals were the sexiest books on the market.

In 2009, things have certainly changed. Paranormal red-hot, and its popularity with young people certainly bodes well for its future. It's a trend, not a fad, but the field's gotten so crowded with series, publishers are becoming more selective.

YA is superhot as well, largely fueled by mega-authors such as JK Rowling and Stephanie Meyer. Kids are reading a ton of highly-imaginative paranormals, "dating" tales, "problem/social issue" stories, and humor, and many young women are transitioning into reading adult romance, especially of the paranormal variety.

As for American historicals, there are certainly glimmers of hope, with some readers yearning for the return of the Western. I'm not seeing a big resurgence yet, but the British-set historicals have really bounced back, with a growing, increasingly-vocal group of younger authors and readers (yea!) coming on board.

Fueled by Internet sales by e-book pioneers like Ellora's Cave, erotica shot past the old-school historicals to give readers some incredibly-hot material in a variety of settings. (I'm told that contemporary and paranormal are the most popular.) Print publishers eager to get in on this trend bought plenty of erotica, but marketing the superhot read in brick-and-mortar stores has been problematic. How does a company create packaging that gets across the content to the reader without offending other customers (or being banned from the shelves by major players such as Wal-Mart?) As a result, I'm seeing print publishers' interest in erotica declining... or maybe they just overbought and are slowing it down to see what's happening with the economy.

In other observations, romantic suspense, which was the hottest thing going back when I was getting started, has matured from fad (meaning publishers overbought too many less-than-stellar books) to a mature but still-strong trend (with more selective buying). Women's fiction peaked, declined, and is now showing signs of being on an upswing as consumers look for "comfort reads." The traditional Regency is no longer published by major publishers, but has been replaced by the sexier Regency romance, which shows no signs of fading.

These are my opinions, based on a dozen years of observation, but I'd love to hear some of your thoughts on publishing trends.

Retro Cool Pop Culture: Harlequin's Heart of a Woman Art Exhibit

One of the coolest marketing efforts I observed at the conference was Harlequin's 60th Anniversary Celebration. To direct attention to the company's wonderful effort to give a free sample to every woman in America, the company featured its (mostly male) pulp fiction roots by highlighting those great old covers.

One of my faves, for a title called "You Never Know with Women," graced a huuuge conference bag -- one destined to be collected rather than stowed away or tossed with bags from past years. I also picked up the best swag ever at the Harlequin party, a tin chock full of retro cover postcards.

Didn't get one? The images have been licensed and with soon be available in stores. (Yea!) Meanwhile, allow me to whet your appetite with a preview of the NY Art Exhibition, "The Heart of a Woman."

Be sure to check out those fascinating captions, too.

Art Exhibit

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RWA Conference Oh-Nine, Oh, Yes!

Every year, I carefully weigh the decision of whether or not to attend RWA's annual national conference. On the minus side, it's expensive, exhausting, and time-consuming. But there are so many pluses, I keep coming back for more. Here are just a few of the reasons.

1. Seeing old friends and making new ones.

It's wonderful meeting people whose eyes light up, rather than glazing over, when the conversation turns to books and writing. From my old friends, many of whom have gone on to great success, I not only derive great pleasure but hard-won wisdom. From those struggling toward publication, I gain an appreciation for the drive, energy, and raw hope needed for the effort. From the newest of the newbies, I smile with the memory of how amazing, terrifying, and exciting this gathering of 2,000 writers and publishing professionals was to me ten years before. (I nearly passed out the first time I rode in the elevator with Nora Roberts. Ten years later, I'm still such a fan girl around superstars like Linda Howard, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, and Sharon Sala, though Sharon's become a very good friend.)

2. Connecting with publishing pros.

There's nothing like a face-to-face meeting with your agent or editor to make sure everyone's on the same page. If you don't have an agent or editor, this is a great place to see them in action and/or ask those working with them for their impressions. Just remember, one author's dream agent/editor/publishing house is another's nightmare (and vice versa), so take each person's experience as a piece of the puzzle, not the whole picture.

3. Learning something new.

Whether it's getting a feeling for the latest emerging trend, improving your craft, or honing your business skills and knowledge of the industry, there's always something new to learn. RWA national strives to select a broad range of workshops from the best of the best presenters, but frankly, I've learned as much or more from networking with other conference attendees as in any presentation.

4. Soaking up creative juices.

The cloud of creativity floating above 2,000 writers and publishing pros is so charged with hopeful excitement that it's hard not to be struck by powerful new ideas. I can't tell you how many books I've written have come to pass because an idea has caught fire at a conference -- ignited by some workshop, meeting, or passing comment.

5. Glamming it up for a change.

Since I spend 99% of my summer in denim capris, tees, and Birkenstocks (I make no claims as to fashion sense), it's fun to dress in grown-up clothes and even glam it up now and then. And the Golden Heart and Rita award celebration is as good of an excuse as any. Besides, I *love* seeing my pals dressed up.

Pictured, fellow Rita finalist and pal Terri Brisbin and me just before the awards ceremony. Neither of us went home with golden ladies this year (congrats to the talented NYT bestselling Cindy Gerard, who won in my category, Romantic Suspense!) but we left there smiling nonetheless. (That line about it being an honor to be nominated in such company... I really mean that!)

6. Partying with pals.

I am soooo not a party animal, it's pathetic. But even I was rocking at my very first Harlequin party. Most of the publishers host some sort of dinner or reception, and it's a great chance to connect with fellow authors and the publishing pros in a fun, social setting. And since you automatically have someting in common with these people, there's none of the awkward standing around that dominates so many of my non-writing social forays.

Not pictured, now or ever (I pray): me dancing!

All in all, conference was a great time. But it may take me 12 months to rest up for next summer in Nashville!